(I also have a slew of related posts on my blog.)
Sorry, these are often difficult to understand. Allow me to assist.
Translation: "I am both married and broke. I am also on the down-low. Additionally, I'm overweight, not tall and have a penis who's size is, by definition, exactly average. But I am willing to fuck you! I live far off the beaten path, so it'll probably take you a good hour or so to drive over. But look at the prize you'll be getting once you arrive!"
Translation: "I need someone to take my virginity because I'm 26 and it hasn't happened yet and I'm hoping you'll feel sorry for me because it's my birthday and provide some pity sex. But you must also meet my STANDARDS! I don't just give my virginity to anyone. On Craigslist."
(Note, virgin males can be very picky. A similar guy on this post.)
(Note, virgin males can be very picky. A similar guy on this post.)
Translation: "I am happy for you to do something super-unhygienic because I have an interesting perversion. And I understand that you may be too cheap to purchase your own sex toys. Which makes you quality. But don't come in it! I have STANDARDS!"
Translation: "I have a small dick and it will take forever to get me off."
Well, at least he might be on a bus route.
--
Check out a recent episode of the podcast:
"Dazed and Convicted", a dark comedy podcast.
DazedandConvicted.com
Twitter: @dazedconvicted
Facebook: Facebook.com/DazedandConvicted
"Put Flesh in subject line please" so I can filter the hundreds of responses from guys desperate to not jizz into a stranger's used sex toy into a special folder rather than clog up my inbox.
ReplyDeleteExactly! There might be FREAKS out there looking to have sex with someone!
Delete